Ugh, I have got to be a better adult.

Like, I have the saving money and holding a job and not-fucking-up-my-life aspect down.

But goddamn, I need to take better care of my house.

I get lazy and depressed and let it get filthy and then never have the energy or time or inclination to give it the deep scrubbing it desperately needs and then I live in squalor for months and it gets worse and I have even less desire to clean it. And then once I do start cleaning it I just get pissed at myself for letting it get so bad.

I mean, I seriously removed about six plastic grocery bags of garbage (not like...rotting food, just paper and plastic detritus, but still). And I'm not even close to being finished. I have a literal pile of recycling in the middle of my living room because I have run out of energy to clean. I'll get to it tomorrow morning after work, but even looking at it is offending me. I still need to vacuum and scrub the kitchen and clean a bunch of other shit but it's just so daunting.

I forget how nice it feels to have a clean house. WHY CAN'T I JUST KEEP IT CLEAN IN THE FIRST PLACE?